20 Categories I’d Totally Dominate On Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader

January 7, 2009 in Me and Myself and I, Random Lists

Vodka Mixers and Assorted Over Priced Microbrews
Hipster Accessories
Lamentable Acts While Intoxicated
10 Ways To Present Box Mac And Cheese As A Gourmet Meal
Spot The Knock-Off Shoe
101 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Go To Law School
The Advantages of Midwestern Home Ownership In Comparison To DC Renting
Text Messages That Would Have Been Helpful Yesterday
20 Ways To Determine If Your Boyfriend Is So In The Closet He Can See Narnia
Diet Coke: Giver Of Life Or Caffeine Crutch?
Select The Proper Wine Accompaniment For Each Frozen Meal In The Grocer’s Freezer
Disappointing Bedfellows
Things You Would Never Tell Your Mother, Therapist, or the National Enquirer But Post On Your Blog Without Second Thought
Why Bootie Shoes Look Like Something The Whore Version Of Laura Ingalls Wilder Would Wear
Old School Nintendo Games And The People That Love Them
Plausible Excuses For Gym Avoidance
Metro Injuries
Which Teen Idol Said It: Dawson, Brandon Or Chuck Bass?
Create The Perfect Storm Of Lactose Intolerance Hell
Things Bionic Kitty Has Yet To Eat But Wouldn’t Kill Her Anyway

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January 7, 2009 at 5:10 pm

charlotteharris

I’m so lost – what are bootie shoes?

For you? A link…which I also put in the post.
http://shop.nordstrom.com/C/6007686/0~2376778~2372808~6007659~6007686?origin=FirstImageSnippet&pbo=2372808

January 7, 2009 at 5:11 pm

michelle

haha… i love chuck bass!!!

He’s like the perfect hybrid of Pacey, Dylan and brooding sexiness with a dollop of great fashion sense.

January 7, 2009 at 5:31 pm

Lemmonex

“Text Messages That Would Have Been Helpful Yesterday”

I dunno…I think a 5th grader would beat me at this. I am queen of drunk texting…always lamentable.

What? This category was made for you!

January 7, 2009 at 5:42 pm

Herb

Our AA is named Chuck Bass and he sings in the company chorus here. Teen Idol? Maybe in 1984…

Snort!

January 7, 2009 at 5:56 pm

Stella

I would kick your ass in the frozen food/wine accompaniment category. Let’s stage a supermarket sweep!!

XO,
Laura Ingalls, The Whore Version
(new pair every day this week bitches!)

You are the Damn Bootie Queen…

January 7, 2009 at 7:54 pm

Malnurtured Snay

10 Ways To Present Box Mac And Cheese As A Gourmet Meal

DETAILS PLEASE

It’s all about the garnish.

January 7, 2009 at 9:25 pm

J.M. Tewkesbury

20 Ways To Determine If Your Boyfriend Is So In The Closet He Can See Narnia

Bwahahahahahahaaaa! Oh. Priceless. I hardly think C.S. Lewis had that in mind when he invented his famous magic closet! One day I’m going to borrow that line from you. (With attribution, of course.)

I got that somewhere and I can’t figure out where. Ack.

January 7, 2009 at 10:09 pm

Brett

J.M. Tewkesbury beat me to it… was actually going to write “Priceless.”

And why would Laura Ingalls rock the bootie short? Not slutty enough for the thong?

I’m not sure if they had butt floss in the Little House Days…

January 8, 2009 at 1:25 am

Laina

Because I know you’re desperately awaiting my commentary:

Any fifth grader can present Mac and Cheese as a gourmet meal. They would eat it at EVERY meal given the chance.

I too would rock the law school and Diet Coke categories. Sadly I have moved beyond Diet Coke into the more advanced “Monster: how quickly does it destroy your kidneys” category.

I have bootie shoes that would drive Manzo Wilder, well, wild. However, they don’t leave the house, to protect both my reputation and my ankles.

Oh, and a new category for you. “Reasons why anyone who runs for public office should take a mental evaluation because it’s a crazy f’ing idea.”

I also imagined Manzo Wilder as a hottie. For him, I might wear booties.

January 8, 2009 at 2:58 am

ella

i swear on all things holy and liz tayor… i shot diet coke out of my nose at the “narnia” reference.

“all things holy and Liz Taylor” has been entered into the memory bank. Will be employed as soon as I successfully find a time to use “shit bubbles.”

January 8, 2009 at 4:19 am

AnonaEsq

I think that Laina and you wouldn’t stand a chance with the 101 reasons. You are both gainfully employed. I on the other hand am now considering a previous profession…yes you both know what I mean.

Additionally, credit for Narnia, thank you very much.

You would own 101 reasons. Heck, you could write the category. And as for Narnia, I was racking my brain trying to remember where that came from. Webbernets, behold AnonaEsq. She’s witty as hell, she needs a microloan to get her business off the ground (or she needs a job to finance said business), and she’s generous with her knowledge. Love her!!

January 8, 2009 at 6:21 am

sofarleft

Although I acknowledge you as a strong contestant in the category, I will take you down in “Disappointing Bedfellows”…unfortunately…

And I think we should team up for Vodka Mixers/Overpriced Microbrews, as I have thorough knowledge of yummy West Coast beer (how I miss Pyramid, McMenamins & Rogue…totally worth the money). We would RULE those 5th graders!

Welcome, teammate. Did you bring refreshments?

January 8, 2009 at 12:09 pm

Thomas